Libras' Journals

tool albums

OPIATE LYRICS

Sweat lyrics

I'm sweating,
and breathing
and staring and thinking
and sinking
deeper.
It's almost like I'm swimming.

The sun is burning hot again
on the hunter
and the fisherman,
and he's trying to remember when,
but it makes him dizzy.

Seems like I've been here before.
Seems so familiar.
Seems like I'm slipping
into a dream within a dream.

Must be the way you whisper.

The sun is setting cool again.
I'm the thinker
and the fisherman
and I'm trying to remember when
but it makes me dizzy.
and I'm sweating,
and breathing,
and staring and thinking
and sinking
deeper
and it's almost like I'm swimming.

Seems like I've been here before.
Seems so familiar.
Seems like I'm slipping
into a dream within a dream.
It's the way you whisper.
It drags me under
and takes me home.

Hush lyrics

Fuck youuuuuuu!

I can't say what I want to,
even if I'm not serious.
I can't say what I want to,
even if I'm not serious.
Things like....
Fuck yourself, fuck Yourself,
you piece of shit, why don't you just go, kill yourself!
I said,
I can't say what I want to, even if I'm not serious.
I can't say what I want to, even if I'm just kiddiiiiingg!

People tell me what to say,
what to think, and what to play.
I said, people tell me what to say,
what to think, and what to play.
Things like.... Fuck yourself
fuck Yourself,
you piece of shit, why don't you just go kill yourself?
I said, I can't say what I want to, even if I'm not serious.
I can't say what I want to, even if, I'm just kiddiiiiingg.

Fuck yourself,
Fuck yourself,
you piece of shit,
why don't you go fuck yourseeeeeeeelf?

People tell me what to say,
what to think, and what to play.
I said, people tell me what to say,
what to think, and what to playyyy!

Just Kidding [3x]

Part Of Me lyrics

I know you well.
you are a part of me.
I know you better than I know myself.
I know you best,
better than anyone.
I know you better than I know myself.

You don't judge.
You can't speak.
You can't leave.
You can't hurt me.
You're just here for me to use.

I know you best,
better than one might think.
I know you better than I know myself.
It's time for you
to make a sacrifice.
It's time to die a
little.
Give it up.

You are a part of me.

Cold And Ugly lyrics

Underneath her skin and jewelry,
hidden in her words and eyes
is a wall that's cold and ugly
and she's scared as hell.
Trembling at the thought of feeling.
Wide awake and keeping distance.
Nothing seems to penetrate her.
She's scared as hell.

I am frightened to.

Wide awake
and keeping distance from my soul.
I am scared like you.

Jerk-Off lyrics

Use to be a bunch of assholes that lived in this part of the building here,
but we systematically removed them like you would any kind of termite or roach

Someone told me once
that there's a right and wrong,
and that punishment
would come to those
who dare to cross the line.

But it must not be true
for jerk-offs like you.
Maybe it takes longer to catch a total asshole.
but I'm tired of waiting.
Maybe it's just bullshit and I should play GOD,
and shoot you myself.
Because I'm tired of waiting.

Consequences dictate
our course of action
and it doesn't matter what's right.
It's only wrong if you get caught.
If consequences dictate
my course of action
I should play GOD
and shoot you myself.
I'm very tired of waiting.

I should
kick you,
beat you,
fuck you,
and then shoot you in your fucking head.

Opiate lyrics

Choices always were a problem for you.
What you need is someone strong to guide you.
Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow,
what you need is someone strong to guide you..
like me, like me, like me, like me

If you want to get your soul to heaven,
trust in me .
Now don't you judge or question.
You are broken now ,
but faith can heal you.
Just do everything I tell you to do.
Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow.
What you need is someone strong to guide you.
Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow.
Let me lay my holy hand upon you.

My Gods will
becomes me.
When he speaks out,
he speaks through me.
He has needs
like I do.
We both want
to rape you.

[x2]
Jesus Christ, why don't you come save my life now
Open my eyes and blind me with your light

If you want to get your soul to heaven,
trust in me .
Now don't you judge or question.
You are broken now ,
but faith can heal you.
Just do everything I tell you to do.

[x2]
Jesus Christ, why don't you come save my life now.
Open my eyes, blind me with your light now.

Deaf and blind and dumb and born to follow,
Let me lay my holy hand upon you.

My Gods will
becomes me.
When he speaks,
he speaks through me.
He has needs
like I do.
We both want
to rape you

The Gaping Lotus Experience

I had a friend once he took some acid Now he thinks he's a fire engine It's okay until he pisses on your lighter Kinda smells kinda cool kinda funny anyway satan, satan, satan... I had a friend once he took some ecstasy tried to marry me and every one in the room He was sort of loving kinda caring, kinda tried to fuck my lazy boy It got a bit messy all over the curtains, arm chair covers, throw pillows, and carpeting satan, satan, satan...I'm getting bored again...

UNDERTOW lyrics

UNDERTOW

Intolerance lyrics

I don't want to be hostile.
I don't want to be dismal.
But I don't want to rot in an apathetic existance either.
See
I want to believe you,
and I want to trust
and I want to have faith to put away the dagger.

But you lie, cheat, and steal.
And yet
I tolerate you.
Veil of virtue hung to hide your method
while I smile and laugh and dance
and sing your praise and glory.
Shroud of virtue hung to mask your stigma
as I smile and laugh and dance
and sing your glory
while you
lie, cheat, and steal.
How can I tolerate you.

Our guilt,our blame ,
I've been far too sympathetic.
Our blood, our fault.
I've been far too sympathetic.

I am not innocent.
You are not innocent.
Noone is innocent.

I will no longer tolerate you
Even if I must go down beside you.
Because,
Noone is innocent.

Prison Sex lyrics

It took so long to remember just what happened.
I was so young and vestal then,
you know it hurt me,
but I'm breathing so I guess I'm still alive
even if signs seem to tell me otherwise.
I've got my hands bound,
my head down , my eyes closed,
and my throat wide open.

Do unto others what has been done to you

I'm treading water,
I need to sleep a while.
My lamb and martyre, you look so precious.
Won't you come a bit closer,
close enough so I can smell you.
I need you to feel this,
I can't stand to burn too long.
Released in this sodomy.
For one sweet moment I am whole.

Do unto you now what has been done to me.

You're breathing so I guess you're still alive
even if signs seem to tell me otherwise.
Won't you come just a bit closer,
close enough so I can smell you.
I need you to feel this.
I need this to make me whole.
There's release in this sodomy.
For I am your witness that
blood and flesh can be trusted.
And only this one holy medium brings me piece of mind.

Got your hands bound, your head down,
your eyes closed.
You look so precious now.

I have found some kind of temporary sanity in this
shit blood and cum on my hands.

I've come round full circle.
My lamb and martyr, this will be over soon.
You look so precious.

Sober lyrics

There's a shadow just behind me,
shrouding every breath I take,
making every promise empty,
pointing every finger at me.
Waiting like a stalking butler
who upon the finger rests.
Murder now the path called "must we"
just before the son has come.
Jesus, won't you fucking whistle
something but the past and done?

Why can't we not be sober?
I just want to start this over.
Why can't we drink forever.
I just want to start things over.

I am just a worthless liar.
I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you.
Trust in me and fall as well.
I will find a center in you.
I will chew it up and leave,
I will work to elevate you
just enough to bring you down.

Trust me.

Mother Mary won't you whisper
something but what's past and done.

Trust me.

I want what I want.

Bottom lyrics

My compassion is broken now.
My will is eroded,
and my desire stolen and it makes me feel ugly.
I'm on my knees and burning.
My piss and moans are the fuel that set my head on fire.
So smell my soul burning.
I'm broken, looking up to see the enemy.
I have swallowed the poison you feed me ...
but I survive on it ,
and it leaves me guilt fed, hatred fed, weakness fed..
and I feel ugly, and dead inside.

Shit adds up at the bottom.

You've left me no choice but to go inside and rebuild
what's broken.
Too much , too far , too late to lie down now.
I must arm myself to fight you
by making weapons out of my imperfections.
It's all I have left.
There's no other choice.
I'm shameless, nameless, nothing, and noone now.
But my soul must be iron for my fear is naked.
I'm naked and fearless.
But I'm dead inside.
You see.. shit adds up, now I'm dead inside.
Hatred, weakness, and guilt keep me alive
at the bottom.

Crawl Away lyrics

You crawled away from me.
Slipped away from me.
I tried to keep ahold,
but there was nothing I could say.
You slid and crept away
and there was nothing I could say.
So what you're trying to say
is you don't wanna play.
But what you want and what you need
doesn't mean fuck to me.

Because I can see your back is turning.
If I could I'd stick the knife in.

This is love.
This is my love for you.

Get up.

Now.

Say you won't go.

Swamp Song lyrics

My warning meant nothing.
You're dancing in quicksand.
Why don't you watch where you're wandering?
Why don't you watch where you're stumbling?
You're wading knee deep and going in.
And you may never come back again.

This bog is thick and easy to get lost in
when you're a stupid,dumb ass, beligerant fucker.

I hope it sucks you down.

Wander in and wandering.
Noone even invited you in.
But still you stumble in stumbling.
So suffocate
or get out while you can.

Noone told you to come.

I hope it sucks you down.

Undertow lyrics

gone under two times.
I've been struck dumb by a voice that
speaks from deep
beneath the cold black water.
It's twice as clear as heaven,
and twice as loud as reason.
It's deep and rich like silt on a riverbed
and just as undisturbing.
the currents mouth below me opens up around me.
suggests and beckons all while swallowing.
It surrounds and drowns and sweeps me away.

But I'm so comfortable...Too comfortable.

shut up shut up shut up shut up
shut up shut up shut up shut up
you're saturating me
So how could I let this bring me
back to my knees again again again

under for the third time.
I've been baptized by your voice.
it screams from deep beneath the endless water.
and it's half as high as heaven
and half as clear as reason.
it's cold and and black like silt on the riverbed.
But I'm so comfortable.
Far too comfortable.
Why don't you kill me,
I'm weak and numb and insignificant,
and I'm back on my knees.
lost in euphoria.
I'm back down. I'm in the undertow.
I'm helpless and awake in the undertow.
I'll die within your undertow.
It seems there's no other way out of this undertow.

euphoria.

4 Degrees lyrics

Get up and free yourself from yourself.

Locked up inside you,
like the calm beneath castles,
is a cavern of treasures that
noone has been to.
Let's go digging.
Bring it out to take you back in.

You won't do what you'd like to do.
Lay back and let me show you another way.
I'll kill what you want me to,
take what's left and eat it.
Take all or nothing.
Life's just too short to push it away.
Take it all.
Take it all in.
All the way in.
Let it go.
Let it go in.
You won't feel what you'd like to feel.
Lay back and let me show you another way.

If you knock me down I'll come back running,
knock you down,
it won't be long now
All the way in.
All the way.
Take it up higher.
4 degrees warmer.
Give in now
and let me in.
You'll like this in
Don't pull it out.
It brings us closer than
dying and cancer and crying.
Come on .
You can take it all.
Just like that.

Flood lyrics

Here comes the water.

All I knew and all I believed
are crumbling images
that no longer comfort me.
I scramble to reach higher ground,
some order and sanity,
or something to comfort me.

So I take what is mine,and hold what is mine,
suffocate what is mine, and bury what's mine.
Soon the water will come
and claim what is mine.
I must leave it behind,
and climb to a new place now.

This ground is not the rock I thought it to be.

Thought I was high, and free.
I thought I was there
divine destiny.

I was wrong.
This changes everything.

The water is rising up on me.
Thought the sun would come deliver me,
but the truth has come to punish me instead.

The ground is breaking down right under me.
Cleanse and purge me
in the water.

Disgustipated
And the angel of the lord came unto me, snatching me up from my place of slumber. And took me on high, and higher still until we moved to the spaces betwixt the air itself. And he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own midwest. And as we descended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil. One thousand, nay a million voices full of fear. And terror possesed me then. And I begged, "Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?" And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots! You see, Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust." And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat like the tears of one million terrified brothers and roared, "Hear me now, I have seen the light! They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers!" Can I get an amen? Can I get a hallelujah? Thank you Jesus. Life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on........ This is necessary. It was daylight when you woke up in your ditch. You looked up at your sky then. That made blue be your color. You had your knife there with you too. When you stood up there was goo all over your clothes. Your hands were sticky. You wiped them on your grass, so now your color was green. Oh Lord, why did everything always have to keep changing like this. You were already getting nervous again. Your head hurt and it rang when you stood up. Your head was almost empty. It always hurt you when you woke up like this. You crawled up out of your ditch onto your gravel road and began to walk, waiting for the rest of your mind to come back to you. You can see the car parked far down the road and you walked toward it. "If God is our Father," you thought, "then Satan must be our cousin." Why didn't anyone else understand these important things? You got to your car and tried all the doors. They were locked. It was a red car and it was new. There was an expensive leather camera case laying on the seat. Out across your field, you could see two tiny people walking by your woods. You began to walk towards them. Now red was your color and, of course, those little people out there were yours too.

Ã†NIMA lyrics

Stinkfist
Something has to change.
Undeniable dilemma.
Boredom's not a burden anyone should bear.
Constant over stimulation numbs me and I wouldn't have it any other way.
It's not enough. I need more. Nothing seems to satisfy. I don't want it. I just need it. To feel, to breathe, to know I'm alive.
Finger deep within the borderline.
Show me that you love me and that we belong together.
Relax, turn around and take my hand.
I can help you change tired moments into pleasure.
Say the word and we'll be well upon our way.
Blend and balance pain and comfort deep within youtill you will not have me any other way.
It's not enough. I need more. Nothing seems to satisfy. I don't want it. I just need it. To feel, to breathe, to know I'm alive.
Knuckle deep inside the borderline. This may hurt a little but it's something you'll get used to. Relax. Slip away.
Something kinda sad about the way that things have come to be. Desensitized to everything. What became of subtlety? How can it mean anything to me if I really don't feel anything at all?
I'll keep digging till I feel something.
Elbow deep inside the borderline. Show me that you love me and that we belong together. Shoulder deep within the borderline. Relax, turn around and take my hand.

Eulogy
He had alot to say. He had alot of nothing to say. We'll miss him.
So long. We wish you well.
You told us how you weren't afraid to die. Well then, so long.
Don't cry. Or feel too down. Not all martyrs see divinity.
But at least you tried.
Standing above the crowd he had a voice that was strong and loud. We'll miss him.
Ranting and pointing his finger at everything but his heart. We'll miss him.
No way to recall what it was that you had said to me,
Like I care at all.
So loud.
You sure could yell.
You took a stand on every little thing and so loud.
Standing above the crowd,
he had a voice so strong and loud and I
swallowed his faÃ§ade cuz I'm so
eager to identify with
someone above the ground,
someone who seemed to feel the same,
someone prepared to lead the way,
with someone who would die for me.
Will you?
Will you now?
Would you die for me?
Don't you fuckin' lie.
Don't you step out of line. Don't you fuckin lie.
You've claimed all this time that you would die for me.
Why then are you so surprised to hear your own eulogy?
You had alot to say. You had alot of nothing to say.
Come down. Get off your fuckin cross.
We need the fuckin space to nail the next fool martyr.
To ascend you must die.
You must be crucified for your sins and your lies.
Goodbye...

H.
What's coming through is alive.
What's holding up is a mirror.
But what's singing songs is a snake
looking to turn this piss to wine.

They're both totally void of hate,
but killing me just the same.

The snake behind me hisses what my damage could have been.
My blood before me begs meopen up my heart again.
And I feel this coming over like a storm again.
considerately.

Venomous voice, tempts me, drains me,
bleeds me, leaves me cracked and empty.
Drags me down like some sweet gravity.

The snake behind me hisses what my damage could have been.
My blood before me begs me open up my heart again.
And I feel this coming over like a storm again.

I am too connected to you
to slip away, to fade away.
Days away I still feel you
touching me, changing me,
and considerately killing me.

Without the skin,
beneath the storm,
under these tears
the walls came down.

And the snake is drowned
and as I look in his eyes,
my fear begins to fade
recalling all of those times.
I could have cried then.
I should have cried then.

And as the walls come down
and as I look in your eyes
my fear begins to fade
recalling all of the times
I have died and will die.
It's all right.
I don't mind.

I am too connected to you
to slip away, to fade away.
Days away I still feel you
touching me, changing me,
and considerately killing me.
...

Forty-Six & 2

My shadow's
Shedding skin and
I've been picking
Scabs again.
I'm down
Digging through
My old muscles
Looking for a clue.

I've been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could've been.
I've been wallowing in my own confused
And insecure delusions
For a piece to cross me over
Or a word to guide me in.
I wanna feel the changes coming down.
I wanna know what I've been hiding in

My shadow.
Change is coming through my shadow.
My shadow's shedding skin
I've been picking
My scabs again.

I've been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could've been.
I've been wallowing in my own chaotic
And insecure delusions.

I wanna feel the change consume me,
Feel the outside turning in.
I wanna feel the metamorphosis and
Cleansing I've endured within

My shadow
Change is coming.
Now is my time.
Listen to my muscle memory.
Contemplate what I've been clinging to.
Forty-six and two ahead of me.

I choose to live and to
Grow, take and give and to
Move, learn and love and to
Cry, kill and die and to
Be paranoid and to
Lie, hate and fear and to
Do what it takes to move through.

I choose to live and to
Lie, kill and give and to
Die, learn and love and to
Do what it takes to step through.

See my shadow changing,
Stretching up and over me.
Soften this old armor.
Hoping I can clear the way
By stepping through my shadow,
Coming out the other side.
Step into the shadow.
Forty six and two are just ahead of me.

Hooker With A Penis

I met a boy wearing Vans, 501s, and a
Dope Beastie t, nipple rings, and
New tattoos that claimed that he
Was OGT,
From '92,
The first EP.

And in between
Sips of Coke
He told me that
He thought
We were sellin' out,
Layin' down,
Suckin' up
To the man.

Well now I've got some
A-dvice for you, little buddy.
Before you point the finger
You should know that
I'm the man,

And if I'm the man,

Then you're the man, and
He's the man as well so you can
Point that fuckin' finger up your ass.

All you know about me is what I've sold you,
Dumb fuck.
I sold out long before you ever heard my name.

I sold my soul to make a record,
Dip shit,
And you bought one.

So I've got some
Advice for you, little buddy.
Before you point your finger
You should know that
I'm the man,

If I'm the fuckin' man
Then you're the fuckin' man as well
So you can
Point that fuckin' finger up your ass.

All you know about me is what I've sold you,
Dumb fuck.
I sold out long before you ever heard my name.

I sold my soul to make a record,
Dip shit,
And you bought one.

All you read and
Wear or see and
Hear on TV
Is a product
Begging for your
Fatass dirty
Dollar

So...Shut up and

Buy my new record
Send more money
Fuck you, buddy.

Jimmy

What was it like to see
The face of your own stability
Suddenly look away
Leaving you with the dead and hopeless?

Eleven and she was gone.
Eleven is when we waved good-bye.
Eleven is standing still,
Waiting for me to free him
By coming home.

Moving me with a sound.
Opening me within a gesture.
Drawing me down and in,
Showing me where it all began,
Eleven.

It took so long to realize that
You hold the light that's been leading me back home.

Under a dead ohio sky,
Eleven has been and will be waiting,
Defending his light,
And wondering...
Where the hell have I been?
Sleeping, lost, and numb.
So glad that I have found you.
I am wide awake and heading home.

Hold your light,
Eleven.
Lead me through each gentle step by step
by inch by loaded memory.

I'll move to heal
As soon as pain allows so we can
Reunite and both move on together.

Hold your light,
Eleven. Lead me through each gentle step by step
By inch by loaded memory
'till one and one are one, eleven,
So glow, child, glow.

I'm heading back home.

Die Eier von Satan
Eine halbe Tasse Staubzucker Ein Viertel TeelÃ¶ffel Salz Eine Messerspitze tÃ¼rkisches Haschisch Ein halbes Pfund Butter Ein TeelÃ¶ffel Vanillenzucker Ein halbes Pfund Mehl EinhundertfÃ¼nfzig Gramm gemahlene NÃ¼sse Ein wenig extra Staubzucker ... und keine Eier In eine SchÃ¼ssel geben Butter einrÃ¼hren Gemahlene NÃ¼sse zugeben und Den Teig verkneten AugenballgroÃŸe StÃ¼cke vom Teig formen Im Staubzucker wÃ¤lzen und Sagt die ZauberwÃ¶rter Simsalbimbamba Saladu Saladim Auf ein gefettetes Backblech legen und Bei zweihundert Grad fÃ¼r fÃ¼nfzehn Minuten backen und KEINE EIER Bei zweihundert Grad fÃ¼r fÃ¼nfzehn Minuten backen und Keine Eier ..

Pushit

I will choke until I swallow...
Choke this infant here before me.
What is this but my reflection?
Who am I to judge and strike you down?

But you're
Pushing and shoving me.
You still love me and you pushit on me.

Rest your trigger on my finger,
bang my head upon the fault line.
Take care not to make me enter.
'cause if I do we both may disappear.

But you're pushing me,
Shoving me. Pushit on me.

Slipping back into the gap again.
I'm alive when you're touching me,
Alive when you're shoving me down.

But i'd trade it all
For just a little bit of
Piece of mind.

Put me somewhere I don't wanna be.
Seeing someplace I don't wanna see.
Never wanna see that place again.

Saw that gap again today
As you were begging me to stay.
Managed to push myself away,
And you, as well.

If, when I say I may fade like a sigh if I stay,
You minimize my movement anyway,
I must persuade you another way.

There's no love in fear.

Staring down the hole again.
Hands upon my back again.
Survival is my only friend.
Terrified of what may come.

Just remember I will always love you,
Even as I tear your fucking throat away.
But it will end no other way.

Ã†nema

Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will.
I sure could use a vacation from this

Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any fucking time. Any fucking day.
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.

Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car.

It's a
Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any fucking time. Any fucking day.
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.

Some say a comet will fall from the sky.
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still.
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits.

Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will cuz
I sure could use a vacation from this

Silly shit, stupid shit...

One great big festering neon distraction,
I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied.

Learn to swim.

Mom's gonna fix it all soon.
Mom's comin' round to put it back the way it ought to be.

Learn to swim.

Fuck L Ron Hubbard and
Fuck all his clones.
Fuck all those gun-toting
Hip gangster wannabes.

Learn to swim.

Fuck retro anything.
Fuck your tattoos.
Fuck all you junkies and
Fuck your short memory.

Learn to swim.

Fuck smiley glad-hands
With hidden agendas.
Fuck these dysfunctional,
Insecure actresses.

Learn to swim.

Cuz I'm praying for rain
And I'm praying for tidal waves
I wanna see the ground give way.
I wanna watch it all go down.
Mom please flush it all away.
I wanna watch it go right in and down.
I wanna watch it go right in.
Watch you flush it all away.

Time to bring it down again.
Don't just call me pessimist.
Try and read between the lines.

I can't imagine why you wouldn't
Welcome any change, my friend.

I wanna see it all come down.
suck it down.
flush it down.

Third Eye

Dreaming of that face again.
It's bright and blue and shimmering.
Grinning wide
And comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes.

On my back and tumbling
Down that hole and back again
Rising up
And wiping the webs and the dew from my withered eye.

In... Out... In... Out... In... Out...

A child's rhyme stuck in my head.
It said that life is but a dream.
I've spent so many years in question
to find I've known this all along.

"So good to see you.
I've missed you so much.
So glad it's over.
I've missed you so much
Came out to watch you play.
Why are you running?"

Shroud-ing all the ground around me
Is this holy crow above me.
Black as holes within a memory
And blue as our new second sun.
I stick my hand into his shadow
To pull the pieces from the sand.
Which I attempt to reassemble
To see just who I might have been.
I do not recognize the vessel,
But the eyes seem so familiar.
Like phosphorescent desert buttons
Singing one familiar song...

"So good to see you.
I've missed you so much.
So glad it's over.
I've missed you so much.
Came out to watch you play.
Why are you running away?"

Prying open my third eye.
So good to see you once again.
I thought that you were hiding.
And you thought that I had run away.
Chasing the tail of dogma.
I opened my eye and there we were.

So good to see you once again
I thought that you were hiding from me.
And you thought that I had run away.
Chasing a trail of smoke and reason.

Prying open my third eye.

Third Eye (intro) lyrics

[Timothy Leary sample:]

Think for yourself
Question authority

Throughout human history, as our species has faced the frightening,
terrorizing fact that we do not know who we are, or where we are going in
this ocean of chaos, it has been the authorities, the political, the
religious, the educational authorities who attempted to comfort us by
giving us order, rules, regulations, informing, forming in our minds their
view of reality. To think for yourself you must question authority and
learn how to put yourself in a state of vulnerable, open-mindedness;
chaotic, confused, vulnerability to inform yourself.

Think for yourself.
Question authority.

Pushit (intro) lyrics

[Maynard's monologue:]

We've been trying something
a little different this tour.
We've been looking at
one of our songs
from a different angle,
under a different light,
so we can hopefully kind of
see it almost for the first time.
We'd like try that for you tonight, is that okay?

We're gonna need your help though.
We're gonna need your help
and your permission,
so we need you to find
a comfortable space,
that is not only comfortable,
but vulnerable.
I want you to shut your eyes and go there,
and we'll meet you on the other side..

LATERALUS LYRICS

LATERALUS

The Grudge

Wear your grudge like a crown of negativity.
Calculate what we will or will not tolerate.
Desperate to control all and everything.
Unable to forgive your scarlet lettermen.

Clutch it like a cornerstone. Otherwise it all comes down.
Justify denials and grip it to the lonesome end.
Clutch it like a cornerstone. Otherwise it all comes down.
Terrified of being wrong. Ultimatum prison cell.

Saturn ascends, choose one or ten. Hang on or be humbled again.

Clutch it like a cornerstone. Otherwise it all comes down.
Justify denials and grip it to the lonesome end.
Saturn ascends, comes round again.
Saturn ascends, the one, the ten. Ignorant to the damage done.

Wear your grudge like a crown of negativity.
Calculate what you will or will not tolerate.
Desperate to control all and everything.
Unable to forgive your scarlet lettermen.

Wear the grudge like a crown. Desperate to control.
Unable to forgive. And we're sinking deeper.

Defining, confining, sinking deeper. Controlling, defining, and we're sinking deeper.

Saturn comes back around to show you everything
Let's you choose what you will not see and then
Drags you down like a stone or lifts you up again
Spits you out like a child, light and innocent.

Saturn comes back around. Lifts you up like a child or
Drags you down like a stone to
Consume you till you choose to let this go.
Choose to let this go.

Give away the stone. Let the oceans take and transmutate this cold and fated anchor.
Give away the stone. Let the waters kiss and transmutate these leaden grudges into gold.

Let go.

The Patient

A groan of tedium escapes me, startling the fearful.
Is this a test?
It has to be. Otherwise I can't go on.
Draining patience. drain vitality.
this paranoid, paralyzed vampire act's a little old.

But I'm still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. And I'm still right here.
But I'm still right here, giving blood and keeping faith. And I'm still right here.

I'm gonna wait it out

If there were no rewards to reap,
no loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.

I'm gonna wait it out

If there were no desire to heal
The damaged and broken met along this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.

I still may. And I still may.
Be patient.

I must keep reminding myself of this...

If there were no rewards to reap,
no loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
And I still may. And I still may. And I still may.

I'm gonna wait it out.
I'm gonna wait it out.
Gonna wait it out.
Gonna wait it out.

Schism

I know the pieces fit cuz I watched them fall away
mildewed and smoldering, fundamental differing,
pure intention juxtaposed will set two lovers souls in motion
disintegrating as it goes testing our communication
the light that fueled our fire then has burned a hole between us so
we cannot see to reach an end crippling our communication.

I know the pieces fit cuz I watched them tumble down
no fault, none to blame it doesn't mean I don't desire to
point the finger, blame the other, watch the temple topple over.
To bring the pieces back together, rediscover communication.

The poetry that comes from the squaring off between,
And the circling is worth it.
Finding beauty in the dissonance.

There was a time that the pieces fit, but I watched them fall away.
Mildewed and smoldering, strangled by our coveting
I've done the the math enough to know the dangers of a second guessing
Doomed to crumble unless we grow, and strengthen our communication

cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any sense of compassion

between supposed lovers
between supposed brothers.

And I know the pieces fit.

Parabol

So familiar and overwhelmingly warm
This one, this form I hold now.
Embracing you, this reality here,
This one, this form I hold now, so
Wide eyed and hopeful.
Wide eyed and hopefully wild.

We barely remember what came before this precious moment,
Choosing to be here right now. Hold on, stay inside...
This body holding me, reminding me that I am not alone in
This body makes me feel eternal. All this pain is an illusion.

Parabola

We barely remember who or what came before this precious moment,
We are Choosing to be here right now. Hold on, stay inside...
This holy reality, this holy experience. Choosing to be here in...

This body. This body holding me. Be my reminder here that I am not alone in
This body, this body holding me, feeling eternal all this pain is an illusion.

Alive

This holy reality, in this holy experience. Choosing to be here in...

This body. This body holding me. Be my reminder here that I am not alone in
This body, this body holding me, feeling eternal all this pain is an illusion...
Of what it means to be alive

Swirling round with this familiar parable.
Spinning, weaving round each new experience.
Recognize this as a holy gift and celebrate this
chance to be alive and breathing
chance to be alive and breathing.

This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality.
Embrace this moment. Remember. we are eternal.
all this pain is an illusion.

Ticks & Leeches

Suck and suck. Suckin up all you can suckin up all you can suck.
Workin up under my patience like a little tick.
Fat little parasite. Suck me dry.
My blood is bruised and borrowed. You thieving bastards.
You have turned my blood cold and bitter,
beat my compassion black and blue.

Hope this is what you wanted.
Hope this is what you had in mind.
Cuz this is what you're getting.
I hope you're choking. I hope you choke on this.
I hope you're choking. I hope you choke on this.

Taken all I can taken all I can, we can take. Taken all you can taken you can, we can take.
Got nothing left to give to you.
Blood suckin parasitic little blood suckin parasitic little
blood suckin parasitic little tick
Take what you want and then go.

Suck me dry.

Is this what you wanted?
Is this what you had in mind?
Is this what you wanted?
Cuz this this is what you're getting.
I hope, I hope, I hope you choke.

Lateralus

Black then white are all i see in my infancy.
red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me.
lets me see.
as below, so above and beyond, I imagine
drawn beyond the lines of reason.
Push the envelope. Watch it bend.

Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines.

Black then white are all i see in my infancy.
red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me.
lets me see there is so much more and
beckons me to look thru to these infinite possibilities.
as below, so above and beyond, I imagine
drawn outside the lines of reason.
Push the envelope. Watch it bend.

over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition leaving opportunities behind.
Feed my will to feel this moment urging me to cross the line.
Reaching out to embrace the random.
Reaching out to embrace whatever may come.

I embrace my desire to
I embrace my desire to
feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow
to feel inspired to fathom the power, to witness the beauty,
to bathe in the fountain,
to swing on the spiral
to swing on the spiral
to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human.

With my feet upon the ground I move myeslf between the sounds and open wide to suck it in.
I feel it move across my skin.
I'm reaching up and reaching out. I'm reaching for the random or what ever will bewilder me.
what ever will bewilder me.
And following our will and wind we may just go where no one's been.
We'll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one's been.
Spiral out. Keep going.
Spiral out. Keep going.
Spiral out. Keep going.
Spiral out. Keep going.
Spiral out. Keep going.

Disposition

mention this to me.
mention something, anything..
and watch the weather change.

Reflection

I find that I can see a light at the end down
Beneath my self-indulgent pitiful hole.
Defeated I Concede and move closer. I may find comfort here
I may find peace within the emptiness. How pitiful.
It's calling me.
It's calling me.
It's calling me.
It's calling me.

And in my darkest moment, fetal and weeping.
The moon tells me a secret. My confidant.
As full and bright as I am, this light is not my own
A million light reflections pass over me
It's source is bright and endless.
She resuscitates the hopeless
Without her we are lifeless satellites dreaming dreams.
And as I pull my head out I am without one doubt
Don't want to be down here feeding my narcissism
I must crucify the ego before it's far too late
I pray the light lifts me out before I pine away.
before I pine away.
before I pine away.
before I pine away.

So crucify the ego before it's far too late
To leave behind this place so negative and blind and cynical
And you will come to find that we are all one mind
(*)
Just let the light touch you and let the words spill thorough
Just let them pass right through, bringing out our hope and reason.

before I pine away.
before I pine away.
before I pine away.
before I pine away.

dismay?

this
Liberty's
in existance..
penetrates a subtle
shapelessness like
ShadowTone that is
falling into a chos
by one drop.
Consternation.
Anxiety.
The lethal convulsions
and yet
indefinable..

TOOL , 10 000 DAYS LYRICS

Right In Two lyrics

Angels on the sideline,
Puzzled and amused.
Why did Father give these humans free will?
Now they're all confused.
Don't these talking monkeys know that
Eden has enough to go around?
Plenty in this holy garden, silly monkeys,
Where there's one you're bound to divide it.
Right in two.
Angels on the sideline,
Baffled and confused.
Father blessed them all with reason.
And this is what they choose.
And this is what they choose...
Monkey killing monkey killing monkey
Over pieces of the ground.
Silly monkeys give them thumbs,
They forge a blade,
And where there's one
they're bound to divide it,
Right in two.
Right in two.
Monkey killing monkey killing monkey.
Over pieces of the ground.
Silly monkeys give them thumbs.
They make a club.
And beat their brother, down.
How they survive so misguided is a mystery.
Repugnant is a creature who would squander the ability to lift an eye to heaven conscious of his fleeting time here.
Cut it all right in two [x4]
Fight over the clouds, over wind, over sky
Fight over life, over blood, over prayer,
overhead and light
Fight over love, over sun,
over another, Fight...
Angels on the sideline again.
Been soon long with patience and reason.
Angels on the sideline again
Wondering when this tug of war will end.
Cut it all right in two [x3]
RIGHT IN TWO!
Right in two...

10,000 Days (Wings Pt. 2) lyrics

We listen to the tales and romanticize,
how we follow the path of the hero.
Boast about the day when the rivers overrun,
How we'll rise to the height of our halo.
Listen to the tales as we all rationalize,
our way into the arms of the savior.
Fading all the trials and the tribulations.
None of us have actually been there,
Not like you...
The ignorant fibbers in the congregation.
Gather around spewing sympathy,
Spare me...
None of them can even hold a candle up to you.
Blinded by choices,
hypocrites won't see.
But enough about the collective Judas.
Who could deny you were the one who illuminated?
Your little piece of the divine.
This little light of mine it gives your past unto me,
I'm gonna let it shine
to guide you safely on your way.
Your way home...
Oh, what are they gonna do when the lights go down?
Without you to guide them all to Zion?
What are they gonna do when the rivers overrun?
Other than tremble incessantly.
High is the way,
but our eyes are upon the ground.
You are the light and the way.
They'll only read about.
I only pray heaven knows,
when to lift you out.
10,000 days in the fire is long enough.
You're going home...
You're the only one who can hold your head up high.
Shake your fist at the gates saying,
"I have come home now...!"
Fetch me the spirit, the son and the father.
Tell them their pillar of faith has ascended.
"It's time now!
My time now!
Give me my
Give me my wings...!"
Give me my [x5]
(Give me my wings)
You are the light, the way,
that they will only read about.
Set as I am in my ways and my arrogance.
Burden of proof tossed upon non-believers.
You were my witness, my eyes, my evidence,
Judith Marie, unconditional one.
Daylight dims leaving cold fluorescence.
Difficult to see you in this light.
Please forgive this bold suggestion.
Should you see your maker's face tonight,
Look him in the eye.
Look him in the eye and tell him,
I never lived a lie, never took a life,
But surely saved one.
Hallelujah
It's time for you to bring me home.

Jambi lyrics

Here from the king's mountain view
Here from the wild dream come true
Feast like a sultan I do
On treasures and flesh, never few.
But I, I would wish it all away.

If I thought I'd Lose you just one day.
The devil and his had me down,
in love with the dark side I'd found.
Dabble in all the way down
up to my neck soon to drown.
But you changed that all for me.
Lifted me up, turned me round.
So I...
I...
I...
I...
I would
I would
I would
Wish this all away
Prayed like a father dusk to dawn.
Beg like a hooker all night long.
Tempted the devil with my song.
And got what I wanted all along.
But I,
And I would,
If I could,
And I would,
Wish it away,
Wish it away,
Wish it all away,
Wanna wish it all away,
No prize that could hold sway,
Or justify my giving away,
my center.
So if I could I'd wish it all away.
If I thought tomorrow would take you away.
You're my peace of mind, my home, my center.
I'm just trying to hold on,
One more day.
Dim my eyes...
Dim my eyes...
Dim my eyes if they should compromise
our fulcrum what you need divides me then
I might as well be gone.
Shine on forever.
Shine on benevolent son.
Shine down upon the broken.
Shine until the two become one.
Shine on forever.
Shine on benevolent son.
Shine on upon the severed.
Shine until the two become one.
Divided I'm withering away.
Divide and I'm withering away.
Shine on upon the many, light our way
Benevolent son.
Breathe in union.
Breathe in union.
Breathe in union.
Breathe in union.
Breathe in union.
So as one survive.
Another day and season.
Silence leech, and save your poison.
Silence leech, and stay out of my way.

The Pot lyrics

Who are you to wave your finger?
Ya' must have been out your head.
Eye hole deep in muddy waters.
You practically raised the dead.
Rob the grave, to snow the cradle.
Then burn the evidence down.
Soapbox, house of cards, and glass,
So don't go tossin' your stones around.
You must have been high.
You must have been high.
You must have been.
Foot in mouth, and head up asshole.
Whatcha talkin' 'bout?
Difficult to dance 'round this one
'til you pull it out, boy!
You must have been, so high.
You must have been, so high.
Steal, borrow, refer, save your shady inference.
kangaroo done hung the juror with the innocent.
Now you're weeping shades of cozened indigo
Got lemon juice up in your...EYE!
When you pissed all over my black kettle
You must have been HIGH, HIGH
You must have been HIGH, HIGH
Who are you to wave your finger?
So full of it.
Eyeballs deep in muddy waters
Fuckin' hypocrite.
Liar, lawyer, mirror, show me.
What's the difference?
kangaroo done hung the guilty with the innocent.
NOW!!
You'll weep or, change the cozened indigo.
Got lemon juice up in your high eye.
When you pissed all over my black kettle
You musta been!
So who are you to wave your finger?
Who are you to wave your fatty finger at me?
You must, have been, out your, mind!
Weepin' shades of indigo
Shed without a reason
Weepin' shades of indigo
Liar, lawyer,
Mirror for ya,
What's the difference?
kangaroo be stoned
He's guilty as the government
NOW!!
Will you weep or, change the cozened indigo
Got lemon juice up in your, EYE!!
EYE!!
Now when you pissed all over my black kettle.
You musta been HIGH, HIGH, HIGH, HIGH.
Eyeballs deep in muddy waters
Your balls deep in muddy waters.
Ganja, please, you must have been out your MIND!!!!

["Kangaroo" refers to "kangaroo courts", which were mock courts established to prove people guilty without a fair trial or any real evidence - most of the court cases dealt with marijuana users]

Vicarious lyrics

Eye on the TV
'cause tragedy thrills me
Whatever flavour
It happens to be like;
Killed by the husband
Drowned by the ocean
Shot by his own son
She used the poison in his tea
And kissed him goodbye
That's my kinda story
It's no fun 'til someone dies
Don't look at me like
I am a monster
Frown out your one face
But with the other
Stare like a junkie
Into the TV
Stare like a zombie
While the mother
Holds her child
Watches him die
Hands to the sky crying
Why, oh why?
'cause I need to watch things die
From a distance
Vicariously I, live while the whole world dies
You all need it too, don't lie
Why can't we just admit it?
Why can't we just admit it?
We won't give pause until the blood is flowing
Neither the brave nor bold
The writers of stories sold
We won't give pause until the blood is flowing
I need to watch things die
From a good safe distance
Vicariously I, live while the whole world dies
You all feel the same so
Why can't we just admit it?
Blood like rain come down
Drawn on grave and ground
Part vampire
Part warrior
Carnivore and voyeur
Stare at the transmittal
Sing to the death rattle
La, la, la, la, la, la, la-lie
Credulous at best your desire to believe in
Angels in the hearts of men
Pull your head on out
Your head believes it give a listen
Shouldn't have to say it all again
The universe is hostile
So impersonal
Devour to survive, so it is
So it's always been
We all feed on tragedy
It's like blood to a vampire
Vicariously I, live while the whole world dies
Much better you than I
Wings For Marie (Pt. 1) lyrics
You believed.
You believed in moments not conceived.
You believed in me.
A passionate spirit.
Uncompromise.
Without us in your heart.
A light in your eyes that, ends all lies.
Vacant, broken.
Fell at the hands of
Those moments that I wouldn't see.
Cause it was you who prayed for me so.
What have I done to be a son to an angel?
What have I done to be worthy?
Day light dims leaving cold fluorescence.
Difficult to see you in this light.
Please forgive this selfish question, but
What am I to say to all these ghouls tonight?
She never told a lie.
Well might of told a lie.
But never lived one.
Didn't have a life.
Didn't have a life.
But surely saved one.
Saved on.
Alright, now it's time for us to let you go.

Intension lyrics

[These lyrics are played backwards:]
(Work hard, Stay in school, Listen to your mother, your father is right/rising/right, son... Jesus loves you... Work hard, Stay in school, Listen to your mother, your father is right/rising/right son...)

Pure as we begin.
Pure as we come in.
Pure as we begin.
Ruled by will alone.
Pure as we begin.
Here we have a stone.
Gather, place, erase so.
Shelter turns to home.
Pure as we begin.
Here we have a stone.
Throw to stay the stranger.
Swore to crush his bones.
Ruled by will alone.
Spark becomes a flame.
Flame becomes a fire.
Light the way or warm this.
Home we occupy.
Spark becomes a flame.
Flame becomes a fire.
Forge a blade to slay the stranger.
Take whatever we desire.
Moved by will alone.
Pure as we begin.
Pure as we begin.
Move by will alone.
Leave as we come in.
Pure as light return to one.
Move by will alone.
Move by will alone.

Rosetta Stoned lyrics

Alright then, picture this if you will:
10 to 2 AM, X, Yogi DMT, and a box of Krispy Kremes, in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51.
Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thingy when a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this.
Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at my Birkenstocks, and me yelping...
Holy fucking shit!
Then the X-Files being, looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips and breath that reeked of vanilla Chig Champa,
did a slow-mo Matrix descent out of the butt end of the banana vessel and hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was: "I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin' pants."
So light in his way,
Like an apparition,
He had me crying out,
"Fuck me,
It's gotta be,
Deadhead Chemistry,
The blotter got right on top of me,
Got me seein' E-motherfuckin'-T!"
And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.
He said, "You are the Chosen One, the One who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it and a warning for those who do not."
Me. The Chosen One?
They chose me!!!
And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school.
You better.
You better.
You better.
You better listen.
When he looked right through me
With somniferous almond eyes.
Don't even know what that means
Must remember to write it down.
This is so real.
Like the time he floated away.
See my heart is pounding,
'Cause this shit never happens to me.
Can't breathe, right now!
It was so real.
Like I woke up in Wonderland.
All sort of terrifying.
And I don't wanna be all alone when I tell this story.
And can anyone tell me why
It was a repeat experience
Will I ever be coming down?
This is so real.
Finally it's my lucky day.
See my heart is racing,
'Cause this shit never happens to me.
Can't breathe, right now!
You believe me, don't you?
Please believe what I just said, see they're telling true.
And this wasn't all in my head.
See they took me by the hand and invited me right in,
Then they showed me something.
I don't even know where to begin.
STRAPPED DOWN MY BED. FEET COLD AND EYES RED.
I'M OUT MY HEAD. AM I ALIVE, AM I DEAD?
CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID.
GOD DAMN. SHIT THE BED!
(high... I I I I I... high... I I I I I)
(high)
[repeated]
Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position.
Such a heavy burden now to be the one.
Born to bear and read to all
The details of our ending.
To write it down for all the world to see.
But I forgot my pen,
Shit the bed again,
Typical.
STRAPPED DOWN MY BED. FEET COLD AND EYES RED.
I'M OUT MY HEAD. AM I ALIVE, AM I DEAD?
SUNKIST AND SUDAFED, GYROSCOPES AND INFRARED.
WON'T HELP, BRAIN DEAD.
CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID.
GOD DAMN SHIT THE BED!
I...!!!
CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID TO ME.
CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY SAID TO ME.
MADE OUT TO BE, A HERO!!!
Can't remember what they said.
OH NO, HELP NOW.
Can't remember what they said.
DON'T KNOW.
WON'T KNOW.
[repeated]
GOD DAMN SHIT THE BED!

Lost Keys lyrics

[Here is the conversation that takes place between the Nurse and the Doctor, and eventually the Doctor and the Patient.]

Lost Keys

â�œTHE HOMELESSâ� IN MY HEART

Someone has been the sign of love..

.. sign of something as indifferent as she is alone.

Associations wake up in my mind,

Theyâ�™re silent but they are in existance.. like a tone in a tight string..

I don't deliberate over them

do not mould them,

but they assimilate to mentality like

the myriads of invisible microbes.

Night permeates through the water space...

Some kind of motionless wind falls

into the depth of essense...

blind wind

deaf wind

that assumes the fragments of compulsory love inside

& he gives some silvery but indefinable dawn..

A din and a laughter of the thoughts

have been reverberating

... every now and than ...

And it seems to me that

something

somewhat odd and gross

is among

the austere whisper that talks about

Death

alike Death I walk away from you

killed without rustle

but

I leave you the fragment of my emotions

... on your real pane...

I leave the haze of my mnid for you

So dead,

so unreal I go away

but

I find it hard to believe in

the shadow that twins... after me

ESCAPE BY FEAR INTO THE PRECIPICE DREAM

Thinkinâ�™ of you

Hate inside me

But I do not cry

Why???

Is that my dance of Death?

little strange

call me anyhow

... how you willing

bestow the nameplate on me ... forever

â�˜cos I can drown by sound

right next to your consciousness...

you can throw me into the corner,

anywhere,

but no farther than end of your shadow...

you neednâ�™t to give me a cuddle

do not have to talk to me

I content myself with any echo

any whisper

or any smell...

you can keep silent

you can punish me by your own yell

in return for

I wanna be...

you can pour in me all your pain

or all your light

you can everything

just take my heart away

let stop its agony

portret artysty dziesiÄ™ciolecia

Zrozumienie to fikcja. Nie musicie mnie rozumieÄ‡. Przy nich wszystko jest chaosem... pogmatwanym obrazem z lustra... pomieszanym powietrzem Å¼ycia ze Å›mierciÄ…... uczuÄ‡ niewyraÅºnym zarysem. Uczucia? SÄ… bez formy, zmienne, pÅ‚ynne, ulotne... MyÅ›li teÅ¼ jakieÅ› szybkie, rÃ³Å¼ne, nieuchwytne...

RzeczywistoÅ›Ä‡ zawsze umiera przy tych dÅºwiÄ™kach... I dlatego podjÄ™Å‚am decyzjÄ™. SprÃ³bujÄ™. NapiszÄ™ o nich. I stop! To nie takie proste. CaÅ‚a siÄ™ trzÄ™sÄ™...

" Portret Artysty DziesiÄ™ciolecia"

" Pain & Execution "

I know, really know... They are the same as Fragility, the same as Shapelessness and Moonlight..

As well as the same like Brutal Matter, Hard&Ruthless Iron.

Only Maynard Keenan and Daniel Johns..]

My heart and soul are not mixed with anyone else.

Daniel Johns (Silverchair)

Stir in the fog...

What does sound like..?

Show me the way to the

unbreakable sun..

because I..

I run myself to ground

and untagle truthful night.

Daniel pierwszy pokazaÅ‚ mi drogÄ™ do nietÅ‚ukÄ…cego siÄ™ sÅ‚oÅ„ca. PrzyszedÅ‚ przeÅ›witujÄ…cy. PrzyszedÅ‚ tak przeÅºroczysty, Å¼e zapragnÄ™Å‚am przeczytaÄ‡ jego krÄ™gosÅ‚up. .ZachlupotaÅ‚ mnÄ…, potem juÅ¼ zostaÅ‚ na zawsze. Nikt nie Å›piewaÅ‚ tak jak on. Nikt nie krzyczaÅ‚ tak jak on. UmieraÅ‚am miliony razy... po prostu tonÄ™Å‚am w emocjach. CzujÄ™ wszystko o czym Å›piewa. CzujÄ™ wszystko o czym milczy . Nic nie jest piÄ™kniejsze od tego co robi we mnie jego gÅ‚os.

Wszystkie moje ptaki pÅ‚onÄ…...

Daniel powleka srebrnÄ… niciÄ… moje ciaÅ‚o. SÅ‚uch jest moim skarbem, jest moim sercem. Jest moim stwÃ³rcÄ…... Pulsuje tlenem, unosi, opadam, drÅ¼Ä™... zawsze drÅ¼Ä™ i czujÄ™ tak mocno.

Czasem chciaÅ‚abym wytÅ‚umaczyÄ‡ caÅ‚emu Å›wiatu o co w tym wszystkim chodzi. Ale zanim otwieram usta ... milknie muzyka. Daniel zawija ostatniÄ… niÄ‡ wokÃ³Å‚ mej szyi. Stworzony kokon jest moim domem. Nikt wiÄ™cej siÄ™ tu nie mieÅ›ci. Tylko ja i gÅ‚os danielowy. BÄ™dÄ…c larwÄ… wyksztaÅ‚cam swoje ksztaÅ‚ty. To tak jakby embrionalny rozwÃ³j.... nowy umysÅ‚, nowe myÅ›li, nowe choroby...

Nie przebijam siÄ™ przez kokonowe nici, by wydostaÄ‡ siÄ™ na Å›wiat. WrÄ™cz przeciwnie- prÃ³bujÄ™ jak najdÅ‚uÅ¼ej zatrzymaÄ‡ czas w tym cudownym miejscu. Bo wszystko wewnÄ…trz jest emocjÄ…. Wszystko wewnÄ…trz jest bÃ³lem, bÃ³l kaleczy, a zewnÄ…trz nie istnieje. Argh! Dlaczego to tak trudno wytÅ‚umaczyÄ‡?! Daniel pokazaÅ‚ mi kim siÄ™ stajÄ™. PokazaÅ‚ mi co czujÄ™ i uzmysÅ‚owiÅ‚ w jaki sposÃ³b.OtworzyÅ‚ mi oczy i zamknÄ…Å‚ w jakiejÅ› przestrzeni. JuÅ¼ nie pamiÄ™tam jaka byÅ‚am kiedy jeszcze Å¼yÅ‚am.

Maynard James Keenan (Tool/ A Perfect Circle)

- knock, knock ...

opening the door

letting my shadow in

... I am

Maynard wÅ›lizgnÄ…Å‚ siÄ™ we mnie, wpeÅ‚znÄ…Å‚ niespostrzeÅ¼enie, przesiÄ…knÄ…Å‚ przez komÃ³rki i tkanki... StaÅ‚am siÄ™ jakimÅ› kolorem roztopionym w deszczu.

Jakie to uczucie? To tak jakby ktoÅ› ukradÅ‚ mi cieÅ„... On ma w gÅ‚osie truciznÄ™ ktÃ³ra paraliÅ¼uje... ktÃ³ra sprawia, ze stajesz siÄ™ czÄ™Å›ciÄ… oddychajÄ…cej muzyki. To iluzja, ktÃ³rÄ… wdychasz tak gÅ‚Ä™boko, Å¼ e twe pÅ‚uca sÄ… peÅ‚ne tonÃ³w, echa, rozdÅºwiÄ™kÃ³w... To cos przed czym nie moÅ¼na siÄ™ obroniÄ‡.

To jakby taniec Å›mierci przerywany tylko po to by dotykaÄ‡ Å¼ycia jak nigdy dotÄ…d.

Nie , nie bÄ™dÄ™ pisaÄ‡ o pÅ‚ytach, poszczegÃ³lnych utworach, teledyskach.. To pozbawione byÅ‚oby sensu.. Dodam tylko, Å¼e sÄ… prawdziwi, dotykajÄ… prawdziwie... kaleczÄ…, ale nie udajÄ…. I zabrali mnie gÅ‚Ä™biej niÅ¼ mogÅ‚abym sobie to wymarzyÄ‡.

They knit together

A teraz?

Teraz jest wielkie zatrzymanie.

Zatrzymanie, bo ich widziaÅ‚am, bo ich sÅ‚yszaÅ‚am, bo czuÅ‚am jak Maynard Å›piewa.

Tyle mocy, siÅ‚y, chaosu... i kruchoÅ›ci, jednoÅ›ci, nierealnoÅ›ci...

CiÄ…gle nie wiem co siÄ™ staÅ‚o. CiÄ…gle nie wiem jak dalej tak po prostu Å¼yÄ‡...

To przestrzeÅ„ bez dna. SzczÄ™Å›cie bez granic. Niewolnictwo bez szansy na ucieczkÄ™. Nie moÅ¼na tego ani pojÄ…Ä‡, ani okreÅ›liÄ‡, ani wyjaÅ›niÄ‡, bo to wszystko dzieje siÄ™ w Å›rodku... wewnÄ…trz mnie, rzÄ…dzone emocjami. Najprawdopodobniej po prostu tego nie przeÅ¼yÅ‚am.

I trwam teraz w jakiejÅ› gÅ‚Ä™bi, piÄ™knej i brutalnej...

I nie wiem nawet , co jest silniejsze: szczÄ™Å›cie czy bÃ³l..

CoÅ› jednak wiem.. to niesamowity proces. Proces dojrzewania do tego, co kruszy ciÄ™ na miazgÄ™. Szansa dotykania czegoÅ›, co juÅ¼ w oddali sprawia, Å¼e inaczej zaczynasz oddychaÄ‡, a wÅ‚osy na skÃ³rze zaczynajÄ… drÅ¼eÄ‡. Proces dotykania rzeczy nierealnych.

I szaleÅ„czy pÄ™d wÅ›rÃ³d tego, co do ciebie dotrzeÄ‡ nie moÅ¼e.

Proces umierania przy kaÅ¼dym dÅºwiÄ™ku, przy kaÅ¼dym obrazie, ktÃ³rego dotykasz wÅ‚asnymi oczami...perfekcyjnie, idealnie.. boleÅ›nie.

BoleÅ›nie , bo to twa najintymniejsza sfera. Najbardziej osobiste emocje....

CoÅ›, co rozÅ‚oÅ¼one byÅ‚o na czÄ™Å›ci, nagle skÅ‚ada siÄ™ w idealnÄ… caÅ‚oÅ›Ä‡, przekracza granice marzeÅ„ i maluje wÅ‚aÅ›nie twoje pragnienia. Rozbiera ciÄ™, rozrywa i ... maluje...

Moja skomplikowana ukÅ‚adanka.. mÃ³j chaos... wszystko zÅ‚oÅ¼one w caÅ‚oÅ›Ä‡... z kaÅ¼dej strony, tak mocno, Å¼e zgubiÅ‚am siÄ™ w tym wszystkim....

A to dotyka, i dotyka...

***

Poprzez ten zÅ‚oÅ¼ony obraz wciÄ…Å¼ tak samo patrzÄ™ na Daniela.

Tyle tylko, Å¼e teraz stoi przy nim ktoÅ›... kogo brakowaÅ‚o. Daniel to facet wyciÄ…gniÄ™ty z mojej gÅ‚owy.

Maynard przyszedÅ‚ sam. Zestawienie ich razem daje idealny, perfekcyjny i ostateczny obraz tego, co we mnie siedzi.

MoÅ¼e to gÅ‚upie Å¼e piszÄ™ o tych ktÃ³rych kocham Wielkim Lasem.

Ale to takie niesamowite, gdy siÄ™ okazuje ,ze idealnoÅ›Ä‡ twojej miÅ‚oÅ›ci istnieje... i moÅ¼esz jÄ… zobaczyÄ‡, czuÄ‡, przeÅ¼ywaÄ‡. I Å¼e sama przyszÅ‚a do ciebie.

Wszystko co emocjonalne trafia przez muzykÄ™. A to, Å¼e istniejÄ… wÅ‚aÅ›nie w niej sprawia, Å¼e sÄ… najsilniej... I nie pojawiliby siÄ™, gdyby nie to,Å¼e majÄ… nade mnÄ… wÅ‚adzÄ™ zaklÄ™tÄ… w gÅ‚os. Bo gdyby nie gÅ‚os, przy ktÃ³rym wszystko boli... byli by zupeÅ‚nie inaczej. Nie tak osobiÅ›cie.

Byli by jak Jim, czy Kurt..

KaÅ¼dy ruch w tej przestrzeni nienauczony, nienauczony... Å›lepy. PÅ‚acz, bÃ³l, erozja. Strefa niedoskonaÅ‚oÅ›ci. Tchnienie blade, popsute.

Nigdy nie znajdÄ™ drogi. Nigdy nie nauczÄ™ siÄ™ poruszaÄ‡ w tej przestrzeni.

I nigdy siÄ™ z tym nie pogodzÄ™.

Zbyt wielkie pragnienia tuÅ¼ pod skÃ³rÄ…... oni jÄ… zdzierajÄ… i biorÄ… to wszystko.

Tak wÅ‚aÅ›nie wyglÄ…da mÃ³j Portret Artysty DziesiÄ™ciolecia. Ten portret nie ma twarzy, ale jest podpisany. Ma silny krÄ™gosÅ‚up na ktÃ³rym oparte jest moje Å¼ycie. Jest zbyt osobisty, by mÃ³c siÄ™ odnosiÄ‡ do suchych faktÃ³w i konkretÃ³w.

Daniela Johns'a I Maynarda Keenan'a malujÄ… emocje ktÃ³rych nikt inny nie potrafiÅ‚by stworzyÄ‡.

Nie wiem, czy trafili w dziesiÄ…tkÄ™. Trafili we mnie.

Now , you now what's after suicidal dream..

I'm lighting a following cigarette...

It's too much for me.